Category Archives: Social Media

7 Strategies for Dealing with Toxic People

Toxic PeopleA guest post by Leo Babauta

Are there people who constantly criticize you, tell you that you can’t do things, make you feel bad about yourself, even yell at you?

These are toxic people.

Dealing with them is never easy, but it’s such a difficult problem that it’s worth looking at some strategies you might consider.

I was reminded of this problem by a reader recently, who asked, “What if toxic people are my family? How do I shut them out? What if I can’t find the courage to rise above them?”

I have to confess, there aren’t any easy answers. I’ve used a number of strategies in my life, and I’ll share what I’ve tried:

  1. Practice self-compassion when you’re feeling bad. This is always my first step these days, as I’ve learned how useful this method is. Think about it: if you’re feeling bad because of someone else’s behavior, you might show your anger or irritation in your actions and words, and that only makes that person more likely to be toxic. Your bad feelings are not only horrible for you, but for the situation. So try this when you notice you’re feeling bad from someone else’s actions/words: turn inward and notice your feelings, instead of avoiding them. What do they feel like in your body? After a minute, try creating a feeling of love towards yourself. Wish yourself happiness, and an end to your suffering. Wish yourself a life of joy and peacefulness. This won’t magically cure the pain, but it’s a good place to start.
  2. Talk to other people. I’ve found that when I’m hurting, I often don’t want to admit it to other people, but then when I talk to someone about it, I inevitably feel better. So take the plunge and talk to someone. Share your feelings, ask for them to listen, maybe even give advice. The advice doesn’t matter so much as the connection and listening.
  3. Practice empathy and compassion. Try practicing the same compassion method towards the person who frustrates you. In your heart, wish them happiness. See that they’re also going through difficulties, like you are, and that’s why they act that way. Wish for an end to their suffering. Wish them a life of joy and ease.
  4. Talk to the toxic person. Once you start to feel more compassionate towards the other person, talk to them. Yes, they might not act in a compassionate and peaceful way towards you, but you can be the better person. You can see that they’re suffering in some way, and are acting inappropriately because of that suffering. Try connecting with them, sharing that you’re having a hard time, asking for their support. This might not always turn out well, but if you do it in a spirit of connection, they might be open to this discussion.
  5. Model the behavior you want to see. Often I get mad at other people for getting mad at me, and then I’m doing the same thing they are, behaving badly because they behaved badly. Even if I feel it’s their fault, my behavior escalates the situation. So I try to show how to deal with frustration, try to be compassionate with them, try to show a positive way of dealing with things. And often that can have a great effect, even if it’s not immediate.
  6. Find more positive friends. If all of this isn’t working, it helps to find other people who are more aligned with the way you want to live. People who are creative, entrepreneurial, self-sufficient, excited about things, positive, healthy, happy. Find them in your local running club, yoga or crossfit class, Toastmasters, volunteer organizations. Find them online in various positive communities. Take the plunge and reach out, develop relationships. Buy someone tea or coffee and start a friendship. One by one, nurture the relationships that have a positive influence in your life, and be a positive influence in theirs. I’ve done this in my life, and it’s made a huge difference.
  7. Cut them out. It’s a harsh thing, but when family members aren’t supportive of me, if they’re constantly critical and angry … and none of the above works … I will just stop seeing them as much. I’ll do my own thing. See other friends. That’s harder to do, of course, when they live with you, but even then you can go out for a run, take a hike and see nature, meditate, create. Don’t let the thinking about toxic people be the thing you focus on all day — put your mind in more peaceful, creative, positive places.

Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

 

Leo Babauta is the author of The Power of Less creator and blogger at Zen Habits, a Top 25 blog (according to TIME magazine) with  over 200,000 subscribers. It’s one of the top productivity and simplicity blogs on the Internet.

Social Media Time Savers for Small Business Owners

A guest post by Nina Radetich / Social Media Strategist, Trainer, Speaker

One of the biggest reasons small businesses hire an assistant or agency to help them with social media is time.  It’s not because they can’t do it themselves, it’s just because their time is better spent on other tasks.  But not all small businesses have the money to do that.  If you’re a one-woman or one-man show in your business, this post is for you.  Here’s my 5-step plan for streamlining social media in your work week,  so you take advantage of the opportunities it has to offer, but don’t let it completely monopolize your time.Nevada Media Consultants

  1. 1. Plan Your Content Calendar. Start on Friday and plan for the following week.  And don’t make this complicated – just use the calendar on your computer or smart phone.  Take a look at what’s going on in your business for the following week, and start making a plan for social media posts.  Are you announcing a new product?  Have you created a new program?  Is there a special national day this week (Memorial Day, Valentine’s Day, etc)?  Do you have a high-level meeting scheduled with someone who will allow you to take their picture?  Or maybe you’ve got some fun family news to share (don’t forget to keep it human!).
  2. Write Your Content.  Leave the content calendar over the weekend and revisit it on Monday morning.  At this point, you’ll have a better sense of what’s going on in your work week.  I know Monday is an administrative day for many of my small business friends.  So take some time today to write up your posts for the week.  If you are on Twitter, curate some interesting content using tools like the Zite app or ContentGems.com.
  3. Nevada Media ConsultantsSchedule Your Content. While it’s crucial that there’s a real-time element to social media, that doesn’t mean you can’t schedule most of your posts in advance.  Once you’ve gotten your posts written on Monday, take a few minutes to schedule them for the rest of the week.  Hootsuite and Buffer are great tools for this.  And Facebook allows you to schedule right from your timeline.  So after you’ve planned your calendar for the week, get as much content scheduled as possible, making notes to remind yourself of real-time content yet to be shared.
  4. Monitor & Respond.  Just like we all have to book time to exercise in order to actually make it happen, you’ll need to book some time in your day to monitor your sites and respond to the people who are engaging with you.  And by booking time, I don’t mean popping in every time you see a notification on your phone.  While it’s true that people do expect a quick response on social, this is just simply not possible all the time for a small business owner.  And to truly make sure you don’t get sucked into the vortex of the Facebook news feed (’cause we’ve all been there), you should schedule time at regular intervals to check your sites.  10 minute intervals three times a day will allow you to answer any questions people might have, like any comments, and re-tweet or favorite any mentions on Twitter.
  5. Network. This is a crucial step missed by most on social media.  Remember, it’s not all about you!  At least a couple times a week, make time to be social.  This is the fun part!  Are you involved in any Facebook groups?  Contribute if you can, see what others are sharing in the group and comment on what they’ve shared.  Look through your Twitter feed to find re-tweetable content for your audience.  If you’ve spent some time on your Facebook business page liking other pages, you’ll have a news feed that’s separate from your personal news feed.  Is there content worth sharing or commenting on in that feed?  Support and chat with others in social media, and it’ll do wonders for the growth of your own community!

What do you do to streamline your social media activities every week?  How do you make sure you stay active on social without letting it take up all your time?
Leave a comment, let us know.

Nina Radetich - Guest post Nevada Media Consultants

 

 

Nina Radetich
Social Media Strategist, Trainer, Speaker

Nina Radetich / New Media Strategies
Contact Nina here.